Resolutions Dead or Alive?

January has come to an end so how many of us have kept up with our resolutions? My resolution is to enjoy life as best as I can with out guilt or doubts. I am holding steady in trying to improve myself physical and mental. One of my adventures this year is to travel get on a plane and see a place beyond my backyard while having some adult time! It is a coincidence that my daily mediation discusses for January 31 coping with life difficulties.

Our resolutions usually are ways to improve our lives but we also need to find ways to deal with the roadblocks that may appear. To keep us on the right track to improve our lives by finding health outlets that spark creativity, create positive energy, free our minds and improve our beautiful bodies. “We must actively look inside ourselves for fulfillment and be willing to experiment and stretch ourselves. _{1( Copage,E} )”  Lets not give up on what we have planned on doing in 2011 we our one month in and eleven more to go. Let’s continue on the adventure that we have planned for ourselves.

Reference

Copage, E.V.(1993) Black Pearls Daily Mediations, Affirmations, and Inspirations for African-Americans, William Morrow and Company, New York, NY

Molding a Young Black Man

Listening to a radio interview with 9^th Wonder who is a producer of hip hop music and I guess he lectures also at Duke University. He struck a cord within me because his goal in life is to help improve the mind set of young black male. It touched me because it seems that the world sees these boys as wasted space or as the buffoonery that is seen on television, via the internet, magazines and newspapers. It’s going to take more then a black president to change the mind set of people looking at black men.

 

Change has to come from more then a single mother raising a young man. It’s hard to step into the shoes of a black man and live their day to day life. It will take a few strong men to step up to young men who are a drift in life. At one point I would have said that only a black man can show them how to be a black man. What is needed is a man to step up and show them how to be a better person and maneuver through growing pains. They need to be educated, participate in extra curricular activities, nurturing talent and just openly communicating to children.

I would encourage the men that I know who are not professional athletes, singers, rappers, and radio or television personalities to step up. Spend some time with some young men showing them what real life is beyond what they see on 106 & Park. There is so much that we are all capable of doing with ourselves. It takes hard work, grit, and strength to wake up daily and go to work. I have met more then a few men that do it daily along with being great parents. Sharing that with a young person might just help shape and mold them for a better future perhaps even another president.

Finding Happiness

Looking through the eyes of a child takes you back to before life jaded you. They are so fun, free, and fearless of expressing themselves and opinions. Dailying taking the time to do the things that make them happy. Bills and responsibility put fear of putting our happiness first while we do what makes us happy daily. Last night on our drive home I told my daughter to follow her heart when choosing a career so that she is happy. She tells me that I should do the same thing do something that makes me happy. She states it so simple feeding me back my words. If I feel that I can give advice then I should be able to live by my own advice.

My child is right do what makes me happy. My problem is I am adult who has no idea what she wants to do with her life. What makes me happy is making others happy I love to see a child succeed. That smile that they get once they have accomplished a task that is hard then at first thought. My first step in actually help children I signed up to be a big sister with the big brother/big sister program. At this time I am waiting to hear back. If I can make a difference in the life of a child besides my own I feel that I will feel successful in one of my life goals.  

Reproductive Time Clock

As women we have what’s called a ticking time bomb on our reproduction system. Mine is completely turned off I no longer feel the need to have children. It’s along those lines of been there done that and still raising my two. A few friends, acquaintances’ that I know are still trying to stay on top of that bomb called having children. Enjoy as much as life has to offer first so that the mistake of having them when you are not ready are made.

I look at my girls at times and I am amazed that I was given the opportunity to have them in my life. I wonder if I am messing them up for life at times it’s the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I stumble a lot daily with being a good parent because there is so much I am still learning. Honestly I should have gotten to know myself better before having my oldest. Traveled more, get to know more people, dated more, and just enjoyed being me!

My new motto to friends who don’t have any children just enjoy yourself and do all the things that you dream of. Before you give your life up to children because that is what it is. Its no longer about you but about that person that you are blessed to have in your life. That need and expectation from your children at times may threaten to suffocate you. Your need end up on the back burner while theirs move to the front of your life. When the time is right I guess you will know and the sound of little feet will be heard.

Enjoy every minute that you have getting to know who you our. Travel to places that you have always wanted to go, eaten, drunk, partied, dated, and just spent time with yourself. Tune out that ticking time bomb that usually has the distinctive voice of your mother…Ooh Gosh it may also sound like your sweet grandma. Children are a joy that most likely best enjoyed once you our ready and not just your body. If you feel that children our not part of your life plan don’t feel bad our allow others to make you feel bad. It’s your life to enjoy any way that you want with or without children.

Happy "Mix Tape" Monday!

Immortal Deluxe Album | Michael Jackson

1. Working Day and Night (Immortal Version)
2. The Immortal Intro (Immortal Version)
3. Childhood (Immortal Version)
4. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ (Immortal Version)
5. Shake Your Body Down To The Ground (Immortal Version)
6. Dancing Machine/Blame It On The Boogie (Immortal Version)
7. Ben (Immortal Version)
8. This Place Hotel/Smooth Criminal/Dangerous (Immortal Version)
9. The Mime Segment: I Like The Way/Speed Demon/Another Part Of Me (Immortal Version)
10. J5 Medley: I Want You Back/ABC/The Love You Save (Immortal Version)
11. Human Nature/Speechless (Immortal Version)
12. Is It Scary/Thriller/Ghost/Somebody’s Watching Me/Threatened (Immortal Version)
13. You Are Not Alone/I Just Can’t Stop Loving You (Immortal Version)
14. Beat It/Jam/State Of Shock (Immortal Version)
15. Earth Song/Planet Earth (Immortal Version)
16. Scream/Little Susie (Immortal Version)
17. Gone Too Soon (Immortal Version)
18. They Don’t Care About Us (Immortal Version)
19. I’ll Be There (Immortal Version)
20. Immortal Megamix: Can You Feel It/Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough/Billie Jean/Black Or White (Immortal Version)
21. Man In The Mirror (Immortal Version)
22. Remember The Time/Bad (Immortal Version)

Le Soleil

The Southeast has experience brutal cold weather this year. A major snow storm and a lack of that beautiful thing called the sun. Today it made an appearance again that made me extremely happy. I had the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite past times of a simple walk. Walking is both a form of exercise along with mediation for my self. Some of my best ideas have come from a nice brisk walk. It allows me to work out ideas, issues, problems, or work off steam. This break from cold weather has helped to bright my day from the blah of winter blues. If this week you happen to be blessed with some very nice weather take a nice walk to just free your mind. Ooh the beautiful benefits of a bright sunny day in the middle of winter. 

**Le Soleil is french for sun.

Recruited For College Football

Born in Wisconsin and raise in District of Colombia/Maryland, former background singer to Ginuwine, and Grammy nominated/award winning songwriter to the witty of stars-- there is more to Durrell Babbs than his astounding physique!  With songs such as: “Maybe I Deserve”, “Come Over”, “Please Don’t Go”, “Sex Music”, and “Celebration”, if you “aint know”, than for crying out loud you better ask somebody—Tank is a veteran to the R&B game! He is considered to be one of the most demanded/requested songwriter in the business to date with a growing resume of artist such as:

“Pleased Tonight” – Dave Hollister

“Lately”- Jon B

“Aint Gon’ Beg You” – Fantasia

“Cutting Me Off”- Donell Jones

“I Wanna Be”- Chris Brown

“Regret”- LeToya

“Under”- Pleasure P

“Naked”- Marques Houston

“O”- Omarion

On 11/25/11 he dropped “Diary of A Mad Man” (Mix Tape), a special treat to his devoted fans on Black Friday. The gentleman is preparing his fifth studio album: “Savior” to be release March 2012.

Female Genitalia Mutilation

Liya Kebede

 Waris Diries

A bit surprised when I came across an article and fashion spread for Liya Kebede promoting Desert Flower a film based on the book that deals with the life of Waris Diries a top model from Somalia. In the film she is portrayed by Liya Kebede also a native of Ethiopia model turned actress. Liya Kebede's face more recognizable since was the first woman of color to be represented in the Estee Lauder campaigns. Waris Diries pictures reflect a beauty at a young age of five had her genital mutilated in what is called a right of passage.  Still being practiced in the region of Somali where Waris was born in 1965 in the region of Gallcaio.

The brief spread is titled A Woman Apart in the February issue of Marie Claire. The article discusses more about the life of Liya Kebede who has her own fascinating story as a model, mother, designer and World Health Organization Goodwill Ambassador. I am more fascinated to see her portrayal of Waris Diries on film. There is no denying her beauty when you see her pictures in the magazine and she believes in improving the life and rights of African women. I am hoping that her portrayal helps to shed light on women’s rights and the long practice of female genitalia mutilation.

What is female gential it is basically the female circumcision, the partial or total cutting away of the external female genitalia. For centuries it has been practiced in parts of Africa as a cornerstone of a young girl’s rite of passage preparing them for womanhood and marriage. This procedure is often performed without anesthetic under septic conditions by lay practitioners who have little or no knowledge of human anatomy or medicine. The procedure of female circumcision may lead to death or permanent health problems along with causing severe pain to these young women. Despite risks, its practitioners look on it as an integral part of their cultural and ethnic identity, and also perceive it as a religious obligation.₁ (Althaus, FA)

I am excited to get my hands on a copy of the book Desert Flower: The Extraordinary Journey of a Desert Nomad the memoir of a woman who survived this procedure. Who escaped to London at that the age of thirteen and became famous along with her being able to use her fame to shine a light on such a practice. The movie is set to be released February 18, 2001 before I go to the movies I plan on reading the book. Her story should help those of us who can not even image such an act being done to put our life into perspective and inspires us to help is a simple as telling another of their story’s.

Waris Dirie and Liya Kebede also bring the beautiful face of color into the light of an industry that perhaps is color shy. Shedding light on the beauty of people of African decent as they break myths on what a women of African decent should look like. The writer of the article in Marie Claire asks Liya Kebede “What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about Ethiopia? Her response "It's not just Ethiopia, but Africa in general-most of the media concentrates on what's not going well. But there is so much beauty there. When you go, it changes everything. It changes you, your life, and the way you see things. The challenge is changing the image of Africa that's been anchored in people for years now."

Liya Kebede and Waris Dirie are helping to improve the world's image of the women of Africa. Inspiring with their strength to help other women improve their lives. Putting the spot light not only on female genitalia mutilation but also on the plight of female rights violation. Take the time to read the quick article in the February issue of Marie Claire, purchase a copy of Dessert Rose, take a quick look at the website www.desertflowerfoundation.org but make sure you go see the movie February 18. Inspiration is found every where and Liya Kebede and Waris Dirie have inspired me. 

References

Connar, Katie L, M, A Woman Apart, (2011) Marie Claire, Hearst Communication, Inc, New York, NY

Althaus, Frances A. Female Circumcision: Rite of Passage Or Violation of Rights? Guttmacher Institute Retrieved January 13^th 2011

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/2313097.html

Optimistic Spirit

I have never understood the frustration of parents who fight for the rights of children with health conditions until this year. Crazy since this year has only involved 13 days so far I think luck has final left us. It’s been semi smooth in dealing daily with my daughter’s chronic health condition that requires insulin to keep normal blood sugar levels. In laymen terms she has Juvenile Diabetes for the past three years. It’s been a journey filled with tears, angry, smiles the understanding and acceptance of friends. Maneuver our way to dealing with raising a beautiful, intelligent, well rounded open minded and health child.

In attempt to improve the family’s health insurance I think I have just dug us in a bigger hole. It seems that with health insurance you either have a bigger chunk of your check taken up front or you pay more out of pocket. As I slap myself in the head know either way I end up loosing but it may have been better to take home a smaller check. It’s not as if I am not already stretching what I have to have my ends meet. Financial I don’t complain because realistically I know that there our others who are struggling way more then I am.

The honest truth is when I am struggling to figure out how I am going to keep my child as health as possible things start to unravel as I stay focus on the goodness in my life. Pay for all her medical coverage, keep her in braces, continue to cloth and feed her. It’s a bit stressful which I know is not good for anyone that lives or work with me. A cranky unhappy crazy lady that I become is the pits…it scares others. I am maintaining while putting on a smile as a friend suggested as I look into what I can do to make sure that my child stay’s health and happy.

12 days in to 2011 and I am trying to maintain my optimistic spirit that it’s going to be a wonderful year. I have taken to reading a book of daily mediations and yesterdays dealt with optimism keeping a positive attitude which is not an easy task. What stuck with me was the line “the human spirit is strong and gets strong still after each hurdle successfully cleared.” It reminds me that I have lived through worse and I most likely will face harder task as I continue to live. I have to continue to keep a positive attitude that life does get better.

Reference

Coopage, Eric V, (1993) Black Pearls Daily Mediations, Affirmations, and Inspirations for African-Americans, William Morrow and Company, Inc, New York, NY

Beautiful Mistake's

I received a few CD’s for Christmas from my sister one of them was No Boys Allowed by Keri Hilson.  I am assuming it’s because I love Pretty Girl rock the single and love Miss Keri Baby. She is an amazing singer song writer and seems to have a spunk personality. I caught her as an open act for Keisha Coles about a year and a half ago. No Boys Allowed is OK, there are songs that I love and some I can so do without. She took a chance and stepped out of her comfort zone and tried some new musical styles.

One of my fav's at this time is the mid tempo Beautiful Mistake. Were she is sing about a love gone wrong crossing the line between a friendship to lovers. I see it as taking a chance with your heart that just didn't go right. Importantly is that a chance was taken there were good parts, bad parts and parts that were plainly a mistake. The lyrics “I follow my heart, But ever time I do it gets me lost and left in the dark.”

Following our hearts should be what we always do in staying true to who we our. In life we should not be afraid to do whatever it is that our hearts truly need. It may end up wonderful or it may end up being a mistake but we won't know unless we go for it. I have let fear rule my decisions a time or two. Playing life safe with my heart, career, friendships, and even they way I dress.

It’s easier to be safe in life never taking chances or going against the grain. If we look at some of those that we admire they have taken a chance that has paid off for them. Mostly likely they suffered some disappointments, no’s and a few chuckles in regards to their ideas from the Na Sayers. In the end they made it!  I am watching a few friends taking chances and following their hearts starting small business and just doing it. At times I know that they are tired but in the end they are happy on the path to independence through their own businesses.

Fear can not hold us back I know easily said harder to do but in the end it maybe worth it. Damn mistakes since we can learn from them get up clean off our stilettos and start a new as we look back on “a beautiful mistake.”

Reference

Beautiful Mistake, (K. Hilson, T. Mosley, J. Harmon, T. Clayton) Published by Star with Stripes/Songs of Universal, Inc (BMI), Virginia Beach Music Publishing/Warner Chappell (ASCAP), Jerome Harmon Publishing/Warner Chappell (BMI) Stix I’m Stoned Universal Publishing (ASCAP)

Photo,  http://blogs.bet.com/lifestyle/headoverheels/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/keri_hilson.jpg

Winter Wonder Land

The first real snow storm in the city I know call home. In five years I have not had the pleasure of a real cold winter or a snow storm. The past few months have proved that the cold and snow can find its way South. This snow day has helped to make memory's that the girls and I will remember. As they helped me to clear a path for my truck that lasted say about ten minutes till snow light piled up. A few snow angles in the backyard and a great snowball fight.

My children and I are the type that need fresh air. Cabin fever hits us easily so we braved the cold and marched out into the snow. Honestly it was fun the kind that we all enjoyed as children. As my daughter called it "Winter Wonder Land" always beautiful to look at. Fun to play in and great to aim at each other. If any of you have not made your way out this winter to enjoy some snow. Find your inner child and go enjoy its wonderfulness. Make a memory that you can share next year and years to come.

2011 Enjoying Life

Making New Years Resolutions I believe are a waste because by the end of January they are forgotten. What I am looking to do is enjoy my life every minute of it by simple loving myself. Per Merriam-Webster online dictionary resolution has a few definitions but the one that I think that fits this time of year of making changes or improvements in our lives is “something that is resolved made a resolution to mend my ways.” That’s my AIM for 2011 to mend my ways and improve myself.

The start of mend my way of yelling which honestly even I am tired of it which only causes to give me horrendous headaches. The children pay me no attention because they are used to me flying off the handle. What I will do is attempt to stop, breath, clear my mind focus on the issue at hand, and deal with it with out loosing it. Easy to say hard to do but that is my major change for my life not just this year. Step back from the madness and deal with life calmly and listening to what my family members have to bring to the table.

Embracing change with an open mind not all change is bad. At this point in my life I should be use to things quickly changing around me. It’s just sometimes it comes so unexpectedly or when I don’t want it. I have learned to embrace it more easily then I have before but I am still working on going with the flow of life. I do refuse to sit back and watch life pass me I plan on being a serious participant on improving how well 2011 will work out for me. Here comes the list of major things that I want to improve with me and what I would like to accomplish from start to finish. The list is famous in my household if it’s not on it most likely it will not be done.

Improve myself by presenting myself as an intelligent, beautiful, fun loving adult to the world. Fact my looks are about eight years younger than my actual age and my clothes sometime are that of starving artist does not bode well for being taken seriously. After having two little girls I dress for comfort for running around, cleaning, projects, cooking, and all the miscellaneous things that may happen during the day. I take to just putting on comfortable clothes, sneakers or the dreaded flip flops, cloths that are two sizes to big, and lets not talk about the hair. All this to say its time that I take control of my outer appearance even thought I really don’t give a damn what others think. I do want to present a nice exterior.

NO longer will I purchase beautiful things to be placed in my closet for that special occasion. In my life special occasions are far and too few in between. Everyday that I wake up is now a special day and I will make the effort to dress the part. My daughter prefers for me to wear heels so that I look more adult. I promised that I will by a few pairs of comfortable heels that I can walk in and leave a pair of sneakers at my desk for walking. I will find an easy and appealing hair style. Honestly I am just going to maintain my natural hey I love it!  

My life resolution is to love myself, laugh as much possible, eat health but enjoyable foods, and continue to walk, take time for me and enjoy my family. Life moves so quickly I see it when I look at my children. They do grow up so fast and if they are growing that quickly then I am aging and I want to sit back and see that I did wonderfully amazing things in my life. Bring it on 2011 I am prepared with the infamous list of things to do.

Twitter/FaceBook... A Musical Christmas 2011

While your shopping for gifts, baking your turkey and sipping Egg Nog pick up these “Jingle Bells“ too play during the Holidays!

“Merry Christmas” - Shelby Lynne
“Guitar Christmas” – Steve Wariner
“A Merry Little Christmas” – Lady Antebellum
“Christmas The Special Edition” – Michael Buble
“Holiday Record” – She & Him
“Twilight Before Christmas” – Drake Sisters
“The Greatest Gift of All” – Justin Bieber

Twitter/FaceBook... A Musical Christmas 2011

While your shopping for gifts, baking your turkey and sipping Egg Nog pick up these “Jingle Bells“ too play during the Holidays!

“Merry Christmas” - Shelby Lynne
“Guitar Christmas” – Steve Wariner
“A Merry Little Christmas” – Lady Antebellum
“Christmas The Special Edition” – Michael Buble
“Holiday Record” – She & Him
“Twilight Before Christmas” – Drake Sisters
“The Greatest Gift of All” – Justin Bieber