Teena Marie - Dead - Dec 26 2010

Daily I feel like I hear a Teena Marie, Rick James or Prince song on the radio. I just love love their brand of funky. I am slowly attempting to engage my oldest daughter into falling in love with there music. When I hear a Teena Maire track I feel like dancing, or even tearing up sometimes it makes me want to just fall in love. Teena Marie along with Rick James music put me on the road to my love of Funky. The lyrics, her strut as she delivered each line to you. Ms Teena Marie even had a way of delivering her own form of lyrical style a little bit of a rapper. Defiantly before her time transcending color and just making beautiful music.

Amazing I just fell in love at a young age to there brand of music. It shocked me when I received a text stating that she had died. We never think of death it is hidden in the far reaches of our mind. The think is death is real people die daily and one day all of us will. I am sadden that I only saw Teena Marie once one summer at Wingate Field in Brooklyn, NY. Her music lives own and I will continue to immerse my daughters in the music and hopefully they will come to lover her as much as I have. Its sad that she died pretty young at 54 with so much more she had to offer to a new generation of music lovers. Thank you Teena Marie for touching my heart with "Lovergirl", "Square Biz", "Fire and Desire" and more recently "Can't Last a Day".

Hitting the Road into Christmas

As the days tick down to Christmas Eve it seems as if this is looking to be just as adventurous as this years Thanksgiving. 2010 for my family has been its regular ball of fun, laughs, and things that just happen to my sister and I. Trust me it seems that something’s only happen to us. In her attempt to coordinate a family Christmas get together in her new place in a total new city that she has been living in perhaps three weeks. Seems to have taken a quick noise dive spiraling fast when reality hit her that it is hard to have an amazing Christmas dinner minus furniture, add difficulty family members, which leads to a new adventure for us.

Through all of this my love of Christmas is starting to peek out. Looking forward to seeing my favorite sister in the world, pick out a tree with the kids, decorating, midnight mass and just fun times. Let’s disregard that I have not packed, finish shopping, booked a hotel room or have picked up a roll of wrapping paper. Neither of us has decided on the family meal, if my brother will show up or if we are going to head in to the family mine field called my beautiful parents who we love dearly. 

None of this real matters just the smile on the children’s faces after mass when they our allowed to open one gift. The Holiday is about new beginnings, caring for others and peace on earth. I am hoping for peace within my family and enjoying each others company. Reminisce, play games and make new memories. Let’s enjoy this coming Christmas and hey bring on New Years it can not be any worse. Then what I will step in once I jump in my truck hitting the road into the Holidays.

"Wonder Women"

Estelle

The January 2011 issue of Harper’s Bazaar has an article that caught my eye called "Wonder Women". The Magazine questioned a few of the women at the fifth Important Dinner for Women their childhood dreams that helped to transform them into powerful leaders. My childhood dream always included the printed word. I always loved to read books and magazines have always been a part of my life. Which is probable the reason that I have been in publishing for over 12 years. I haven’t reached were I want to be as of yet but one day I will publish a book and enjoy reading my name on the cover.

Estelle who is a British singer's who's latest song "Fall in Love" is loved by my daughter and myself. Her statement touched me to the core. Her answer in regards to what advice would you give to your younger self? "I’d say, Don’t be scared, you look fantastic!" I think every young woman should have that taped to her mirror, closet, and or bedroom door.

The pressures of society to look a certain way is enough to suffocate an adult I forget how much that pressure can be on a young person attempting to find out who they are. It’s so easy as a parent to say I love you and that your are beautiful we need to make are girls believe that they are "fantastic!" We need to ingrain into our girls that they are wonderful and support them no matter what. I have to look in the mirror and love what I see daily because you know what I am fantiastic no matter what the world thinks. Its taken me a long time to make peace with what I see when I look in the mirror. To be able to say that I love me and what I see!

Cathie Black who has been designated the New York City School Chancellor would advice her young self to "Go for the gold. Pursue your dream. And never take no for an answer." Where was she when I was growing up? Never take no for an answer…I have to give my girls that little nugget of advice if you want something bad enough then keep at and just go for it. I think I am going to make that my priority for 2011 pursue my dreams and do not give up just keep putting myself out there I will get that yes that I am looking for.

Elettra Wiedemann who is a fashion model would advise her younger self " Don’t care what stupid girls think or say." OK so I tell my girls this all the time just not in those words…Which reminisces of Pinks song "Stupid Girls". I have come to realize that everyone is not going to like you and neither will you like everyone. It’s just foolish to attempt to impress others by being something that you are not so who cares what they really think. Just be yourself!

2011 I will take some advice from so "Wonder Women" and be true to myself, go after my goals and feel fantastic every step of the way. If you get a chance flip through the January 2011 issue of Harper’s Bazaar check out the bright fashions, a few great articles and take the time to get to know a few wonderful women with some gems for thought. When I pick up my girls from school I will embarrass them with kisses in front of their friends tell them they are fabulous and that Maman loves them. Yes my oldest is taking French and I love how Maman sounds better then Mamma as my youngest call’s me.

Enter the World of a Child’s Individualism and Indepedence

This morning went from just being cold outside to being raging with emotions on everyone’s part with exception of my youngest and the dog. I again entered the world of my child’s growing individualism and independence. All do to the fact that I am trying to keep my oldest daughter from catching Phenomena do to the unseasonable weather in our part of the country. Yes I understand that my child considers her self a fashonista but even fashonista’s need to dress properly for the weather. This leads to her telling me that “I am always complaining about her!” No I am not complaining I am attempting to keep you from being sick! I allow her to express her personality through her cloths, art, and writings. Perhaps she is write I am a complainer which sucks but I also am one of those people who jumps in attempt to correct and fix things.

I have come to learn that I can not correct and fix all things. I can make suggestions or give an opinion and allow that person to do what they would like with the information that I give. Per her dad “Let her freeze” as a mom I don’t want my child to freeze but I understand where he is coming from. By allowing her to “freeze” she will learn from her own mistake and will learn to dress properly for the weather. It’s time that I step back and allow her to manage her time, her room, school work and her style. I feel as if I have stepped back some in the past few months of Middle School but I know that I still hover.

I am not ready to let go as of yet…she is only eleven and still needs guidance. I do need to allow her to learn from her own mistakes. The emotional out burst this morning lead me to searching the internet for parental help in dealing with back talk. The first thing that I read from Kids Health Organization is “You’re going to have to loosen the ties and allow some growing room.₁” OK, I have come to this conclusion on my own it’s hard for me to come to grips with. What I feel I need to work more on hits home I love to argue I do because I feel that I am always right or have a point to prove! Yes I am an intelligent adult that knows this is a bunch of bull I am not right all the time, just a bit controlling.

OK I am honest with my nuttiness! “Modeling the qualities that you want your preteen to learn and practice – respectful communication, kindness, healthy eating, and fulfilling everyday responsibilities without complaining – makes it more likely that your son or daughter will comply.₂” I agree total with this statement are children look to us as their parents for guidance and model their behavior from us first before looking at outside sources. It’s time to start behaving more like and adult then a brat child that can not have her own way. My children our both grow up and trying to make there way in this world and find out who they real our. It is my job as a parent to be a good role model and give them the best tools.

Yes it is hard but I am going to have to step back and let them gain their independence. I will always be there for them but at times I am going to have to allow them to fail and learn from their own experiences. Per their dad “they are great kids that are creative and different.” So I don’t have much to complain about if she wants to run around in a sweater and down vest in 20 degree weather with a pink and black tee shirt own. I learned my lesson running around with minimum clothing during winter as a teen! My mom just let me go own out I have learned to layer up and I have grown from my mistakes! Independence is a great thing synonyms with self-sufficiency, self-dependence, self-reliance, self-subsistence, and self-support I try to teach this daily to my girls so I should not complain when the start doing what I want them to do. Life has a way of coming around full circle and kicking you right in the butt!!!! Got love parenting! Miss Fashionista told me she loved me after jumping out of my truck when I dropped her off to school leaving her down vest behind and I did not even argue.

Reference

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/preteen.html, Connecting With Your Preteen, KidsHealth from Nemours

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Keeping with the Sprit of the Holiday Tis the Season for Giving

“There are children out there with no toys!” was what my oldest daughter said to her younger sister last night. Raising children who are caring, keep an open mind, and able to stand for a cause I believe can help better this world. I am proud to be the mother of a child who keeps her mind open along with caring about the world and people in it. This year we have entered the world of volunteering which we have not before. I talk a lot about helping out other’s but this year I have gone out with my daughter and given, time, gifts, and I think the best has be the hat’s donation for young cancer patients. She took her time walking the aisle’s to pick out two perfect hats that she thought a young girl would like.

Watching her volunteer has helped me to see that even the little things that we do actually help others. It also helps to raise awareness about people and their situations in life. It has helped me to put life into perspective that at this point in time my family and I are doing just fine. I am looking to do more then just don’t monetary things for the up coming year. This holiday season it has been food and toy’s for the different school fund raisers. I know that for us all money is tight but remember giving something small may help a family who has very little to nothing at all. Let’s celebrate the holiday with family, friends and help our fellow neighbor’s.

Yes slowly I am getting into the Spirit of the Holiday. Which as I age ooh so graceful I have come to realize it is more about the gift of given then receiving? Remember the creator did give us the ultimate gift of his only child and as every parent knows children are so very special. Because of this I am leaving my Grinchly ways and enjoying the Holidays with a bit of youthful fun and hopefully aid someone in have an enjoyable one also.

2010 Centric Award - Underground Music Scene

Last night I watched the rerun of the Soul Train Awards and the Centric Award was given out to and underground music scene. Amazingly that some of the artist that were nominated have had more then one album out for instance Corinne Bailey Rae with her wispy sultry voice and Dwele who to me is an amazing artist not only vocal but lyrically. The winner was Janelle Monae who is energetic, beautiful and vocal amazing. Within her acceptance speech she said something that touched me. She dedicated her award to young women out there who are afraid to step out of the box and be themselves.

It touched me because I have been expressing to my daughter to be true to her self always. As long as you are true to yourself mostly likely you will e happy. You can not always make others happy because not everyone that you come across will like you. I do not want her to attempt to bend her self out of proportion in attempt to fit in and be someone that she is not. I know that the older that she becomes the more that peer pressure becomes. That’s why I am stressing her self worth, talents, intelligence and beauty.

Daily I tell my girls that I am proud of them as I listen to what they have done that day. Help with school projects, read to my youngest, listen to my oldest practice her trombone, watch them dance and sing across the family room. In courage in devours that they would like to do. Trying new things while perfecting talents will hopefully open up a career later in life that is fulfilling. What I want for my girls is happiness in themselves and lack of fears of what others think.

Yes, I love popular music but I also love talented musicians who are not fearful of jumping out of the box and be themselves. To share a part of their heart, vision, and emotions with the world while yes keeping their cloths on. I can see how it maybe hard for young women to step out of the box and be themselves when they are bombard with images of half naked women on television and print media. Worse when you are not represented on either media or you only see yourselves in a negative light when showed at all. That’s why it is my duty as a mother to spread love to my daughters and too her friends also. Children and young people need to be shown that they are loved, appreciated, and yes that they are doing well or have miss stepped.

As mothers it is OK to allow are children to be who they are. The future is on them and the world changes so quickly allow them to experiment and enjoy life. Congratulations to Miss Janelle Monae and thank you for stepping out and being yourself. I am a lover of artist that float under the radar and my girls are better off for it. They get to hear more then what is blasted on local radio.