This morning went from just being cold outside to being raging with emotions on everyone’s part with exception of my youngest and the dog. I again entered the world of my child’s growing individualism and independence. All do to the fact that I am trying to keep my oldest daughter from catching Phenomena do to the unseasonable weather in our part of the country. Yes I understand that my child considers her self a fashonista but even fashonista’s need to dress properly for the weather. This leads to her telling me that “I am always complaining about her!” No I am not complaining I am attempting to keep you from being sick! I allow her to express her personality through her cloths, art, and writings. Perhaps she is write I am a complainer which sucks but I also am one of those people who jumps in attempt to correct and fix things.
I have come to learn that I can not correct and fix all things. I can make suggestions or give an opinion and allow that person to do what they would like with the information that I give. Per her dad “Let her freeze” as a mom I don’t want my child to freeze but I understand where he is coming from. By allowing her to “freeze” she will learn from her own mistake and will learn to dress properly for the weather. It’s time that I step back and allow her to manage her time, her room, school work and her style. I feel as if I have stepped back some in the past few months of Middle School but I know that I still hover.
I am not ready to let go as of yet…she is only eleven and still needs guidance. I do need to allow her to learn from her own mistakes. The emotional out burst this morning lead me to searching the internet for parental help in dealing with back talk. The first thing that I read from Kids Health Organization is “You’re going to have to loosen the ties and allow some growing room.1” OK, I have come to this conclusion on my own it’s hard for me to come to grips with. What I feel I need to work more on hits home I love to argue I do because I feel that I am always right or have a point to prove! Yes I am an intelligent adult that knows this is a bunch of bull I am not right all the time, just a bit controlling.
OK I am honest with my nuttiness! “Modeling the qualities that you want your preteen to learn and practice – respectful communication, kindness, healthy eating, and fulfilling everyday responsibilities without complaining – makes it more likely that your son or daughter will comply.2” I agree total with this statement are children look to us as their parents for guidance and model their behavior from us first before looking at outside sources. It’s time to start behaving more like and adult then a brat child that can not have her own way. My children our both grow up and trying to make there way in this world and find out who they real our. It is my job as a parent to be a good role model and give them the best tools.
Yes it is hard but I am going to have to step back and let them gain their independence. I will always be there for them but at times I am going to have to allow them to fail and learn from their own experiences. Per their dad “they are great kids that are creative and different.” So I don’t have much to complain about if she wants to run around in a sweater and down vest in 20 degree weather with a pink and black tee shirt own. I learned my lesson running around with minimum clothing during winter as a teen! My mom just let me go own out I have learned to layer up and I have grown from my mistakes! Independence
Reference
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/preteen.html, Connecting With Your Preteen, KidsHealth from Nemours
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