Living Truthfully - Jason Collins

After reading the article that Jason Collins wrote as he not only peeked out the closet but opened it wide and stepped out. “I’m a 34 year old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.” He is showing a different face to Black Gay men and hopefully will be the unexpected role model that young men struggling with their sexuality can look up to.

Quote a straight black man “His private life is his private life.” He has come a very long way and hopefully the world has also.

It’s time that we allow other’s to live their lives and their truth’s because what is done in behind their doors do not effect other’s. Life is extremely short and it is so much more enjoyable when we are our genuine selves and just enjoy life.

I have learned in the last few years to just enjoy life. Make the best of it daily and not worry about others. You cannot control the actions of others but you can face each day while trying to make the best of it as if it maybe your last. I wish Jason Collins all the luck with the upcoming NBA year and hopefully he will have a great support team behind him.

Congrats Ms Emeli Sande

WOW….My family and I have been listening to Emeli Sande….since early last spring and summer. She broke out into the mainstream media of the USA sometime late last year. Unexpectedly we heard a song of hers on the radio last month and got as excited as we drove in my truck home. It seems that the world is taking notices. It seems that she broke the Beatles record of the most consecutive weeks spent in the top ten U.K.s Official Album Chart “Our Version of Events” has been on the charts for 63 weeks…The Beatles record was 62 consecutive weeks in 1963 – 1964. You Go GIRL

No Wonder Women

My love of Wonder Women must have given me ideas of me actually being a Wonder Women. 29 days into 2013 and what have I learned to keep my opinions, concern and good intentions to myself. Quickly I am learning to place boundaries between myself and others basically to mind my darn business. No matter how good my intentions maybe I am not the one going through the situation it is not my place to comment on it. In the end the decision on how to deal with the issue being it treatment, friendship or life is not mind. The only person that I have control over is my own personal self. No matter how much I feel that I should fix other’s or make them bend to my will it’s no longer my concern. I have and will continue to work on myself, mental, physical and emotional.

 Perhaps I will become more of an introvert then I already am but life at this point can only get better because my outlook is to enjoy every day. Good thing I am slowly learning to enjoy myself and look at life so differently.  Just enjoying my day not looking at the past that I can no longer control or fix its done I can only hope for better in today. Taking a quick look back when did I become such a selfish person the world doesn’t rotate around me and I can no paint it in only color’s that I deem beautiful others have the right to paint their world in whatever fits them. The hardest thing in the world is letting go and allowing other’s control. Even when all you would like to do is hold them close to your heart. I am not Wonder Women and I certainly do not have a lasso.

Cracked Mask or Cracked Heart

you never wore a mask

it’s not your fault

that what I built up

in my little head

thinking that it was love

it’s not your fault

that I never had love

so to never have it

I thought what I saw in

you was truly beautiful

 was truly real

it never was it was my

foolish heart wanting

to be loved so much

that I fixed it on you

how unfair of me to

make you a knight in armor

it’s not your mask that

shattered because

 you never wore one

it was my heart that

came crashing so fast so hard

what remains is

glitter sprinkled all

over the floor

MValle

Cracked Mask or Cracked Heart

you never wore a mask

it’s not your fault

that what I built up

in my little head

thinking that it was love

it’s not your fault

that I never had love

so to never have it

I thought what I saw in

you was truly beautiful

 was truly real

it never was it was my

foolish heart wanting

to be loved so much

that I fixed it on you

how unfair of me to

make you a knight in armor

it’s not your mask that

shattered because

 you never wore one

it was my heart that

came crashing so fast so hard

what remains is

glitter sprinkled all

over the floor

MValle

Only 14 days into 2013

Does the world

Truly wants to see what lies

Behind my well placed mask

My anger

Disappointments, tears

My desires especially if

They offend

Come take a sneak peak

Of what truly lies

Behind my well placed

Glittery smile

MValle

 14 days into the New Year and I feel like I am slowly letting my mask slip just a bit. Life is not all sugar and spice there is a bit of bitter in it. Just looking outside my window and the gloominess of the weather is enough to bring a gloomy mood but I am cool with the grey skies and rain it means I am still alive to frown a bit on the weather. What I am trying to do is build memorable moments of life for my girls, sister and family. We have taken so many pictures but haven’t developed them or printed them which is a waste…Guess we are so not good at the Scrap Booking but we are having more fun daily.

I think somewhere in floating in the backs of our minds we still are coming to grips with the fact that Cancer has silently snuck its way into are home. Silently it’s become part of our daily lives. To look at her my sister looks amazing you can’t tell that dreaded disease has made its way into her life. She is in great spirits which I feel l makes it too easy for us to forget.  Just a bit but it has become a major part of life it pushes us to do more enjoy it more.  Building great memory’s as we move on into the 2013 year while we inch closer to treatment. I am looking more towards the light at the end of that tunnel than anything else.

We all smile or frown during the day but do others really know what is going on? Honestly I doubt it. Not all of us let the reality of our lives bubble to the surface. I really don’t feel that others really care to hear about the gloom parts of our lives. It brings them at times to close to the grey shades of their lives and souls. My mask has dipped a bit to show what is truly lying underneath and all of it is not glittery more like destruction. Right now I am aiming it at Cancer.

January is Cervical Health Awareness Month

January is Cervical Health Awareness Month which spotlight’s cervical health issues that include such as human papillomavirus (HPV) and cervical cancer. As women we hate going to the ObGny slipping into those straps, the discomfort of sliding down, while gazing up at the ceiling as our doctor probes us during that annual Pap smear examination. It’s that examination that may help with early detection of cervical cancer. Earlier detection helps with prevention and treatment options. It maybe embarrassing and uncomfortable but it may just save your life. Learn to pay attention to your body and changes that you are not comfortable with. Also do not be afraid to question your doctor. I go yearly and wait for the results. Younger women don't feel comfortable in your youth and take your health for granted. At this time I know of one young lady who is battling cancer at this time. Its best to be aware and to make the best decision to help keep you health and alive. 

Sideline Story to the Journey of Endometrial Cancer

2012 brought to my front door a disease called Endometrial Cancer a new journey to my sister and our family. My sister has made some sort of acceptance to her diagnose of Endometrial Cancer but ooh boy is it a journey. She has kept her humor, her love of family and life. It seems that since she has started the first step to surgery and chemo pills that there our just so much medication. I did not even realize that chemo pills where and option neither did I realize the amount of money that this would cost. It is very expensive to treat cancer and to stay health. Besides the cost, I don’t think I was ready f rte emotions that come along with diagnose. I love my sister with every fiber of my being and will do what ever she needs that includes biting my tongue and times to let allow her to vent all her emotions. Let me tell you when she start’s venting in her own words “She becomes a tractor trailer with no brakes and will take out everyone and anything I her path.”

The best thing to come out of this diagnose is that she has a renewed zest for life. She is up for anything and will attempt at least once. This Holiday we have just enjoyed each other’s company ad have done some amazing things. We took a drive up to Lazy 5 Town Ranch and she became a huge kid as she feed the animals and too some amazing pictures. She is show us all how to enjoy life and have fun! I can not wait to see what else this journey has in store for us! Endometrial Cancer will not beat us we will beat it with, class, laughter and lots of humor. Let's she what 2013 will bring us.

Bye 2013

As 2013 knocks on are doors many are making resolutions. I have decided that resolutions will not be on the top of my list this year. I am going with the flow, enjoying every day and attempting to do new things. I have also decide to set boundaries, filter what I think before I say it and sometimes just keep my opinion to myself and shut my mouth. Why!? Because I have walked in the others shoes and even if I have. The hard truth most people really don’t give darn what you think or your opinion. All are out to do them and enjoy there time on earth. Living my life to become a person and those around me will need to do the same. I don’t have all on the answers! I am still trying to decide who I am, what I am truly good and passionate about and where I want to go with the time I have been give. What I learned this year is that life changes quickly and I know I no longer want to live with the what if’s. I want memories for myself and others around me. Yes all not be good but darn it most of them will be full of fun and laughter.

Happy 2013, Wishing all Health, Happiness and find their Passion.

Enjoy Life!

Happy Birthday Nicki Minaj

Happy Birthday to the Pink Princess of Barbie Land the one and only Nicki Minaj!! I would say that it’s wrong for a grown woman my age to love her but I do. Listening to her bubbly, animated characters just bring a smile to my face and make me what to just dance and have a good time. So enjoy your day Nicki and continue to bring us your brand of Pink creations.

Shattered Glitter

shattered

pieces of me

tiny pieces of me

scattered about

why attempt to

maneuver them into

place sticking them with adhesive

this time I have decided

to blow them through

that open window

behind me

gloating away like

glitter from a kids card

perhaps landing on

someone special

so that I can find

inspiration

to start myself a new

fresh beautiful and kind

shattered I lay shine

but so very shattered

waiting to be recreated

as something other

then myself

MValle 12/6/12

21 Days to Christmas Blues

OK so it is 21 days to Christmas and my feelings is Hum Bog!!!! Yes I know crazy for a self-appointed Christmas freaking freaky elf. Christmas has been my favorite Holiday forever and as the years go by and I become older I just seem to become a Grinch. I look at my year and go what the hell have I accomplished and this year is just living. Not living as in I accomplished my goal of a new job, improved my income and have improved the world in some way. NO just living!!! Still working two jobs, still not happy with the job I am at and trying to hold on to my sanity while dealing with health issues in my family.

I am happy that we all are alive to see this year’s Christmas. I enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my family and just enjoy family. I learned that no matter what family will prop you up and help you no matter what. True friends will give you support in your darkest hour or when you have hit rock bottom. I am looking for my inner Christmas elf so that I can make it through December and running into 2013 looking for improvement.

I cannot change others but I sure as heck can improve myself. Complaining, cursing the world and blaming everyone in your path get you to the same place that you are. Working on me and removing me from unhappy situations is all that I can do. So bring on the Holidays what I have accomplished in the two weeks since Thanksgiving is to buy the most important gifts on my list for two very important little people in my life. At this point what doesn’t get purchase will have to wait until 2013. What most important at this time is me trying to find a little seasonal happiness enjoying family and true friends.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Set your alarm for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on CBS Tuesday, December 4^th at 10 PM central. I can not wait to see this $2.5 million Floral Fantasy Bra Set and my girl Rihanna's performance...she is such a bad A$$!

Christmas Suprises

I love fashion for the beauty of some amazing designers that most likely I will never be able to afford. Come December 1sth 2012 a legendary partnership is going down Exclusively at Neiman Marcus and ooh how we Love Target. More than 50 gorgeous gifts by 24 exceptional designers at prices that even the likes of me will be able to afford. Look out know under my pink tree because I might be surprising some of my favorite people with amazing gifts. Yes I did say pink tree I think I really want one this year!

Look out for such designers as Oscar de la Renta, RODARTE,  Tracy Reese, BAND OF OUTSIDERS, rag & bone, DEREK LAM, Alice and Olivia and 17 more amazing designers at amazing prices for an amazing holiday season. 

Happy Thanksgiving

Let's take the time to give thanks for family, friends, and just being alive to see the days. Enjoy your day how ever you plan on spending it. Hopefully I will not be spending mine at the buffet line....Ooh What a Year for my family. Happy Thanksgiving to all as we prepare for Christmas!!!

The Journey "Endometrial Cancer"

Yesterday marked the 45th day in my "redemption phase" journey (Break up, medical condition, surgery, recovery, and more). Through out this process I am learning a great deal about others as well as myself. I stop asking why me and accepted my faith because comparing my grief to others it could be worse. My hindsight is perfect, clearer judgment, tunnel vision and leaving all distractions behind. The journey has been far from easy however early on built my tolerance for what is to come. We are all emotional creatures and immortal so I don't feel I folded under pressure. The good news is you have forever to practice, and get it right. I am a firm believer that life comes at you fast so grab it by the horns. Because of this it's crucial to stop and smell the roses, savor and enjoy life.

Great American Smokeout

Today is the 37th annual Great American Smokeout. If you are trying to kick the smoking habit today is your today to take that first step to a healthy new you. For more help take the time to visit www.cancer.org for advice on quitting.

Veterans Day

Thank you, to all those who have served, those who have died and those who are serving at this time.  To there families and friends who have shared there solider with us for keeping this country safe allowing us to savor are freedoms. A special thank you to my family who have serve and serve at this time.

Destruction of Glitter’s | “Spotlight” Saturday

Destruction of Glitter’s | “Spotlight” Saturday:

Artist/Band/Group: Kevin Rudolf
Record Label: YMCMB
Genre: R&B/Rock
Album: UNTITLED
Song: “Don’t Give Up”

Spices of Depression

do you really care to find out who I truly am?

i remove my smiley mask

revealing the turmoil

brewing and bubbling over

swishes of pain

spices of depression

slowly slipping over the sides

of my tightly closed pot

removing my mask

to show you that my

spirit has dimmed some

my smile no longer lights up

from within

the only thing within is

quickly pushing that lid

as my dreams fall to the

side no longer shine 

but tarnished from being lost

in a past that I no longer remember

my mask no longer smiles

as the tips of my smile slowly turn down

what have I allowed myself to become?

no longer recognizing myself

let along remember what I aimed to

accomplish in life

perished on the edge of my bubbling pot

slipping out over the side

i have no idea were I will end up

it seems I have pushed some many away

leaving myself vulnerable with out my smiley mask

what do I have left to give to myself let

alone others

do you really care to find out who I truly am?

MValle 11/7/12